Making Lemonade

I did it… I finally walked out on my life on Sunday night. It was a long time coming. No, I’m not happy about it… the whole experience was very bizarre. I am not particularly sure of how it all came down, but I do know that I ended up at the grocery store buying baby food at 10 pm and bitching about it to my best bud over the phone.

Really, the only thing I remember was that I was tidying up my house and Ares was heating up some pizza from the night before. I wasn’t hungry, and I had told him so a few times over but, as usual, Ares decided that I was going to eat- against my will –because we all know that, at 31 years of age, I still don’t know how to make my own decisions, right? Seriously. Sometimes I think that I speak to him in rubbery tongues and that’s why my words always seem to bounce off his hard head (WOW! That could almost be a line in a porn flick!). He sat down, shook his head as if reprimanding me for not coming to the table *right-this-instant* and began to complain profusely about me cleaning up the house. One second later, I just ignited…

After I came back, I decided to just start taking things one day at a time… no looking ahead. It just makes life easier when you don’t have any expectations so that you’re never let down. I wake up every morning now, and if I have a good day -great. If not, then hopefully tomorrow will be better. Is this admitting defeat? Ares and I have some serious shit to work through. He needs to stop treating me like I'm 5 years old... really, is it too much to ask to let me be and stop controlling what I do, when and how I do it? Shit! I am so fed up, even the make-up sex –as darn awesome as it was- just didn’t do it for me this time around. We’ll see how well we can adjust to the new attitude…